


Normalcy

by punkkkkboi



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, The feels, Trans Richie Tozier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 05:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23006233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkkkkboi/pseuds/punkkkkboi
Summary: Richie Tozier never knew what it felt like to be normal. A year and a half after he moves to Derry he’s faced with the struggle of having a crush on his best friend and his friends not knowing who he truly is.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi we’re doing this again. And if you guys are wondering I am a queer trans guy so

Normalcy was unfamiliar to Richie 

Richie sat up in bed as the moon shined through his windows. His dark brown hair curled in his eyes as he searched for his glasses. The summer was almost over and Richie wasn’t ready to start his junior year. He had moved schools halfway through sophomore year and only had a couple friends. Mike Hanlon, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Stanley Uris, and Eddie Kaspbrak. The thing is, none of his friends knew the real him. None of his friends know that he actually has a crush on a boy. None of them know that Richie wasn’t born as Richie. 

Growing up Richie always hated that he was disrespected, disregarded. He hated the way he had to dress, the way he looked. He hated his name, his voice. Most of all, Richie hated himself. When he was almost 15 everything finally clicked. No more dresses, no more dolls, no more long hair. No more being a girl. 

Richie hasn’t told any of his new friends that he was gay, let alone trans. Derry, Maine was a hostile place, you couldn’t trust anyone because they might turn on you and make your life a living hell. 

Richie slid out of his bed and walked to his window, looking back at the clock it read “4:23”. “Fucking hell” Richie whispered. He slid it open and put a cigarette to his lips. With a little click, the smoke was lit. Although the boy knew smoking wasn’t good for him, it helped him clear his thoughts and feel numb to his pain. He took a long drag and watched the sun slowly peak over the horizon. 

~

At 11:00 am Richie mounted his rusty bike and rode off to meet the losers at the club house.   
“Richie, mother fucker, what took you so long” Beverly laughed. “Sorry Bev, I had to stop for a pack of smokes” Richie replied, holding up a pack of Camels. “Do you know how many fucking chemicals are in those shits? Have fun with your popcorn lung” Eddie teased. “It’s okay Eds, I don’t need cigs, you always take my breath away.” Richie mocked, sarcastically swooning. “W-will both of y-you idiots s-shut up?” Bill asked. They all then climbed down into the club house without another word. 

The losers all sat in a deformed circle. Beverly and Ben all cuddled up, Richie and Eddie sitting in the hammock after fighting for the 100th time on who’s turn it was, Stan and Bill sitting a bit too close, and Mike standing in the middle. “So, we have about three weeks until school starts, anybody have ideas about what to do with the last couple weeks?” Mike babbled on but Richie couldn’t focus. He kept staring at the boy sitting next to him. The thing was, Richie had a huge crush on Eddie since the day he met him, but he knew he didn’t have a chance and he definitely wasn’t going to tell him. None of the losers knew about this, or at least Richie thought, but to Beverly he wasn’t quite subtle.

~

As the sun was setting and the losers were leaving to head back to Beverly’s, she pulled Richie aside into the back of the group. “Hey Rich, I know you have a crush on Ed-“ Richie shot his hand over Beverly’s mouth. “Listen here, I don’t know what you heard but I’m not gay.” Richie spewed. “Richie I’m not a dumbass, you a dumb fuck if you thought you weren’t being obvious. I see the way you look at him.” She laughed. “Shit...” Richie whispered. “Hey man I won’t tell him, don’t worry.”

~

The losers all congregated in Beverly’s basement. Well it wasn’t Beverly’s but her aunts. After she ran from her dad's house her aunt took her in. Although it wasn’t perfect, it was better than Al Marsh. 

“I think we should go swimming.” Ben said smiling. “It’s dark d-dumbass.” Bill responded “I know stupid, that’s what makes it fun.” Ben replied. “I’m all for it let’s go.” Eddie said. Richie looked around panicked, he hasn’t really been swimming with his friends and if he does he’s always wearing a shirt. Last time they pestered him about it and he made stupid excuses. “I burn really easy” “I have a lot of funky scars” and other meaningless responses. “I’m actually gonna head home, have fun guys.” Richie said picking up his stuff and walking out the door before any of his friends could respond. The losers watched him run out and suddenly Eddie started after him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw - misgendering - language

Eddie started running out of Beverly’s house. “Where the fuck did he go” he wondered. Then he spotted him, turning the corner on the dim street illuminated by the street lamps. “Richie!” Eddie yelled. Richie turned towards the scream, but then kept walking. “Richie what the fuck!?” Eddie was now sprinting and before long he caught up. “Why did you just leave?” Eddie questioned. “Leave, go have fun man.” Richie said, trying to supress the tears welling in his eyes, he thought it was stupid, that he was freaking out about swimming but he couldn’t tell his friends. “No seriously Rich, what is wrong, really.” Eddie pressed. “I just can’t go swimming, okay?” Richie responded harshly. Eddie stopped, and stared at him with an agitated look. “Fine then, go.” And Eddie turned around and started walking back to Beverly’s. 

~

Richie was mad, but he didn’t really understand why. He knew he was the asshole but why was he mad at Eddie. He let loose and began to sob while walking down the sidewalk. He dropped his bike and sat on the curb, covering his eyes. 

Richie finally collected himself and rode his bike the rest of the way home. He made an effort not to wake his father while entering, as he was in a drunken sleep and would quickly fill with rage if Richie woke him. Richie then made his way up to his room and locked the door. He felt so bad about ditching his friends and soon filled more and more with guilt, then his phone rang. It was Beverly. 

“Uh, hey Bev,” Richie said, letting out a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry I ditched you guys.” “Richie, Eddie told me what happened, are you okay?” “Uh, yeah I’m fine, just tired.” “Richie, you’re not fine, please tell me what’s wrong, I won’t tell anyone else.” She begged. “Meet me at the park tomorrow and I’ll tell you, okay?” She agreed and hung up the phone. Richie threw his phone on his bed and the sobs came back. He felt hopeless. If his friends knew the truth they would never talk to him again, especially Eddie. 

~

The next day came, Richie woke up bright and early at 5:00 am. It wasn’t his choice but he couldn’t sleep. He did what he always did when he woke up too early, grabbed a cigarette and sat by his window. He wasn’t ready to talk to Beverley, but he knew he had to tell someone. 

After a couple hours, a couple more cigarettes, and lying in bed, Richie finally got up and dressed. He pulled on his binder and a plain white shirt. He grabbed a jacket, his phone, and skateboard and headed out the door. Richie texted Beverley, “on my way to the park, take your time.” He walked down the stairs but was stopped by his dad. His dad grabbed Richie’s arm tight. “Rachel, where are you going?” “Umm is just going to the park dad.” He tightened his grip “You better not be with those boys, Rachel.” “No sir, just meeting Bev.” His dad looked at him suspiciously, then let go of his arm. 

Richie rushed out of the door and quickly skated down the street to the park. His phone then buzzed with a text from Beverly just saying she would leave as soon as she could. 

~

Richie sat on his skateboard and pulled out a cigarette as Beverly biked into the park. Richie held up the pack to her and she took one sitting down next to him. “Richie, will you please tell me what’s wrong?” “Okay well, I don’t really know how to say this,” Richie said “It’s okay Rich, take your time.” Beverly said, setting a hand on his shoulder. “Um I can’t go swimming with you guys, or anyone.” “Okay..?” Beverly responded. “Beverly I’m not who you think I am,” Richie took a deep breath “Bev, I was born a girl, I’m trans.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly convinces Richie to go back and see the losers, he tries to apologize to Eddie but it doesn’t go as planned.
> 
> TW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - slurs (t**ny) - abuse

“Oh… okay” Beverly responded. “Is that a good okay or a bad okay” Richie responded, his eyes pricked with tears, eyes focusing on his shaking hands. “Richie, why would it be a bad okay? You’re one of my best friends.” Richie sighed with relief. “I uh- I haven’t told anyone else though.” Richie said looking at the ground. “Hey, that’s okay, you don’t have to tell anyone.” “I know but-“ Richie stopped and took a deep, shaky breath. He ran his hand through his hair and looked at Beverly, “Sorry for being a little bitch about it.” Richie laughed. “Hey don’t worry about it.” Beverly replied, slinging a arm around Richie. 

~

Richie and Beverly sat there in the park for two hours, sharing cigarettes until they didn’t feel anything. “Do you want to go meet up with the rest of the guys?” Beverly said standing up and brushing her jeans off. “Uh sure, but don’t you think they’ll be mad at me?” “Rich, probably but, you could either explain yourself or just apologize.” Richie took a shaky breath and agreed to go with Beverly.

As they walked down the street toward the quarry, Richie started panicking. “What the fuck am I going to say to them Bev?” “I don’t know? Tell them the truth maybe?” Richie stopped and looked at her, “Uh no, fuck that they’re gonna fucking hate me.” Steps came out of the woods, it was Ben, Beverly had texted him to meet them. “What are we gonna fucking hate you for?” Ben laughed. Richie looked at him and thought of the first thing he could think of, “Uh, being a fucking dumbass…?” Ben laughed, “You're forgiven Rich, now let’s go to the club house, yeah?”

The three walked down and entered the musty fort. Everyone was sprawled across the room, scrolling on their phones. Eddie looked up from the hammock and stared at Richie, he was obviously mad at him. Richie walked over to the hammock. “What the fuck do you want?” Eddie said, crossing his arms. “Ed’s can I please talk to you outside?” Richie did quietly. “Fine.” Eddie complied, swinging out of the hammock. 

“Okay Richie, what the fuck do you want?” Eddie said, leaves crunching under his feet. “Ed’s I’m sorry please don’t be mad at me.” Richie pleaded, tears beginning to form. “Richie what the fuck? Don’t be mad? You fucking ran out on us and when I tried to talk to you you fucking left? Why the fuck would you do that?” Eddie was screaming, his voice began to crack. Richie noticed tears were running down Eddie’s face, tears began to run down his own. Richie walked over closer to Eddie. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, I’ll leave. You don’t have to talk to me again or for awhile if you don’t want to.” Richie said, voice hoarse. Richie turned and began to leave. He thought Eddie would never want to see him again. 

Richie walked out of the woods and down the street, hot tears still running down his face. Richie’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and stopped to read it. It was his dad. The text read, “Where the fuck are you” Richie’s heart dropped, knowing what was to come when he came home. 

~  
Richie walked through the door, trying to close it quietly behind him. “Rachel.” His dad boomed, “You left at eleven this morning and it’s fucking five now. Tell me who you were with.” “Just Beverly.” Richie said quietly, head lowered. “Speak up,” his dad scolded, “who were you with?” “Just Beverley!” Richie yelled. Richie’s dad punched him, knocking his glasses off his face. He proceeded to kick him in the stomach multiple times, until Richie cried. “Go! Upstairs, now.” Richie pushed himself off the floor and ran up the stairs. 

He shut his door and slid against it. Richie opened his messages on his phone, contemplating texting Eddie, or Beverly, but he felt as though he had confided too much in Beverly and didn’t want to seem overbearing. Richie decided on calling Eddie, to at least apologize. “Hello?” Eddie said coldly. “Ed’s I’m sorry about what happened earlier but-“ Richie hiccuped through his tears. “Rich what’s going on?” Eddie said, his tone changing. Richie wiped blood dripping out of his nose. “Can I come over?” He asked softly. “Yes, yeah, moms working the night shift.” They finished the call and Richie eyed his window, then walked over and unlatched it, sliding onto the roof. He grabbed a nearby tree and climbed down the branches. He dropped on the ground and started sprinting towards Eddie’s house. 

He knocked on the door, breathing heavily. The door was then opened. Eddie’s face dropped the moment he saw Richie. “Richie what-?” “My dad, uh he got mad.” Eddie pulled Richie inside and led him to the bathroom. “Sit on the counter.” Eddie said pointing on the left side of the sink. Eddie took a cloth out of the linen closet and ran it under the cold tap water. He began to dap the blood on Richie’s nose and lips, pausing for a second to stare.

“Take your shirt off.” “Why?” Richie said, panicking. “Incase you have any cuts and shit.” Eddie said softly. “Ed’s I can’t.” Richie said looking at his hands. “Richie why?” “Because I’m not who you think I am, okay?” Richie roared. “Richie what is going on, you’ve been acting like a dick what do you even mean?” Eddie yelled at him, but he didn’t stop there. “You fucking left me, you fucking left and now youre being a dick again!” Eddie screamed. “I’m sorry! I’m a fucking tranny okay?” Richie screamed, covering his face with his hands. Tears began to fall. “What?” Eddie breathed. “I’m a fucking monster, okay? An abomination against fucking god.” “Richie…” “I should go, I’m sorry Ed’s.” 

Richie tried to push himself off the counter but was stopped by Eddie’s hand. He eyed his lips and slowly moved closer. The gap closed into a soft kiss. Richie tasted like cigarettes with a hint of cheap booze. Richie pulled back and placed his forehead against Eddie’s. “You’re not mad?” Richie whispered. “Why would I be mad?” Eddie asked softly. “Because I don’t have a dick?” Richie laughed. Eddie just giggled and went in for another kiss. “Will you let me take your shirt off now?” Eddie asked between kisses. “I guess.” Richie said laughing. 

Eddie examined Richie’s stomach and the bruises beginning to form. “Oh shit.” Eddie winced. “Nothing I’m not used to.” Richie responded, averting eye contact. “Hey let’s go upstairs and chill out so you don’t have to go home, sound good?” Eddie proposed. “Sure.” Richie said sweetly. 

~

Eddie walked into his room, Richie following behind, pulling his shirt over his head. Before Eddie could say anything he was being pressed up against the wall. Richie pressed a firm, hot, kiss on his friend's lips. “Is this okay?” Richie whispered. Eddie nodded going in for another kiss. They kissed feverishly. Eddie pulled on Richie’s hair, trying to be as close as possible. The two broke, breathing heavily. Richie placed a kiss on Eddie’s neck, careful as to not make a mark. “Are you okay baby?” Richie asked. Eddie smiled at the name. “Yes, definitely.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took long enough, so sorry for the wait I will try to upload more!

It had been several hours filled with kisses and laughter. Richie looked at his phone and Eddie leaned in to kiss the taller boy's neck. “Oh shit, I should go.” Eddie sighed “Whyyy?” He whined, pouting. “I don’t want to get beat up by my dad again.” Richie said kissing Eddie and pulling away, walking towards the window. Eddie stood up off the bed and walked over to Richie before he left, grabbed him by the waist, and kissed him hard. “Bye handsome.” He said with a smile. Richie blushed, “Bye baby.” 

~

Richie snuck back into his window and crashed on his bed. “Fuuuuck” Richie groaned rolling off his bed. He had to take his binder off, his ribs were sore and breathing was becoming hard. He then slipped on a large hoodie and turned on his lights. He slowly moved over to his bed and flopped down. Richie pulled out his phone and there was a text from Eddie, “I miss you already x” Richie smiled at his phone. He missed him too. He had to see him again tomorrow. 

~

Richie shot up out of bed, his hair a mess. The nightmares wouldn’t stop, he couldn’t understand it. He looked at his phone, 3:47 am. Richie sighed loudly, he just wanted a good night's sleep. He decided to sneak down stairs and grab some food. When his dad got mad he wasn’t allowed to eat dinner, a shitty thing done by a shitty man. Richie’s mom on the other hand was kind and loving, but she wasn’t allowed to see Richie by his father's rules. 

Richie snuck down the stairs, hoping they didn’t creak and wake his dad. He made it to the fridge and took out a packaged sandwich and a can of store brand cola. He snuck back up the stairs, once again trying to avoid creaking. He held his breath until he got to his room and was able to lock the door. 

~

Richie dreaded the day ahead of him, he would have to face his dad. He didn’t know if he could. He got dressed in fading black jeans, a grey shirt, and an open floral button up. He fidgeted with his fingers, contemplating what to do. Alas, after fighting with himself, he decided to make his way down stairs. 

“Rachel.” His dad said, looking at the newspaper in front of him. “Dad.” Richie responded, avoiding potential eye contact. “What am I gonna do with you,” his dad started, “I’m sorry about yesterday but you can’t lie to me.” Richie shot his father a cold look. “I didn’t lie to you.” He said through his gritted teeth. Richie walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “First you tell me you’re a tranny then you tell me you didn’t lie.” His dad sighed. “Why was I stuck with such a bad kid.” Richie shot his dad a look over the steel fridge door. His eyes were filled with anger. Richie took out the orange juice. “You should have left me with mom then.” He muttered. 

After Richie finished the glass, he walked over to the cedar door and turned one last time to his father, “I’m going to Bev’s again, don’t wait up.” And before his dad could protest he was out the door. 

~

Richie rode his skateboard over to the park, stopping at an olive bench. He took his phone out of his pocket and texted the losers. “Where do you want to meet up today?” He questioned. Three dots popped up and Bill’s message read, “How about my house?” And the other losers agreed. He then got a separate text from Eddie, “Wanna meet me at my house and walk with me?” Richie quickly responded, “Oh, what’s in it for me spaghetti?” “I don’t know, come find out x” 

Richie felt a little queasy, but not in a bad way. He was... happy. Richie then slipped his phone back in his pocket and made his way down the road to the Kaspbrak house. 

~

When Richie arrived, Eddie was just slipping out the door. Richie popped his board up and held it against his side. “Hi.” Eddie said softly with a smile. Richie grabbed his wrist and pulled him behind a tree near the edge of the road. He dropped his board and pushed the smaller boy against the tree. He pressed a firm kiss to Eddie’s lips. “You couldn’t wait could you?” Eddie laughed. “It’s not my fault you’re so cute.” Richie responded with a sly smile. Eddie pushed Richie’s glasses to the top of his head and continued to kiss the freckled boy. 

After about ten minutes of the teenages kissing, Eddie's pocket buzzed. “Hey Eddie, you coming?” Bill texted. “Fuck.” Eddie mumbled. “Well we can’t do that right now.” Richie joked. “Fuck you.” Eddie laughed pushing Richie playfully. “What did I just say?” Richie said, grabbing his board and playfully beginning to run down the road. Eddie caught up and took Richie’s hand in his. Richie pressed a soft kiss on the back of his hand. They walked together until they finally got to Bill's house. 

Richie and Eddie approached the house and because you straighten themselves up, and stand further apart. “Hey guys!” Stan called from out the window. “Stanley the manly what’s going on my dude?” “Well, we’ve got a projected set up down stairs and some, ‘punch’.” Stanley smirked. The losers had all agreed that they would use the no so covert term “punch” as a way to say a spiked drink, or even sometimes straight liquor. “Hell yeah.” Richie said pulling Eddie by the wrist into the house.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - Homophobic language - violence

The losers all settled themselves down in the Denbrough’s basement. Richie, Eddie, and Mike sat on the couch and Beverly on the floor. Ben had not yet arrived. “St-tan and I are g-gonna go u-upstairs to ge-t snacks,” Bill started, “you f-fuckers pick o-out the movie.” 

Eventually after bickering for a bit, Beverly made the decision to watch ‘American Werewolf in London’. “Bev do we really have to watch a scary movie?” Eddie questioned. “Well Eddie, would you rather watch Bridget Jones Diary or some shit?” Eddie shot her a look, “Okay whatever, we’ll just watch the fucking werewolf movie.” After this brief interaction Ben made his way down the stairs, followed by Stan and Bill holding chips and pop tarts. “Have you ladies picked a movie yet?” Stan laughed. Richie flinched at the nickname, his mind started racing. What if Stan knew? He couldn’t. He just had to calm down. 

Beverly grabbed their cocktail of gin and Hawaiian Punch and poured everyone some into a clear plastic cup. “Aww, Bevvy I thought this was a stereotypical teen party, where are the red solo cups?” “I spent all my money on gin asshole.” Beverly laughed. 

~

The group started their movie, Richie used this as a chance to hold Eddie’s hand. He thought that since they were paying attention to the movie, and they were all just a bit tipsy, the losers wouldn’t notice. “Who wants more punch?” Beverly sang. The group collectively called for more. Richie’s ribs were beginning to hurt but he tried to ignore it, focusing on his drink to keep his mind off the pain. Eddie looked over, noticing his friend's discomfort, “Hey Rich, are you okay?” Eddie whispered into Richie’s ear. “Yeah I just have been binding for too long, I’ll leave after the movie’s done, it’s just hurting a bit.” Eddie cocked his eyebrow in confusion, so Richie just pointed at his chest. Eddie nodded in understanding and turned back to look at the movie. 

Soon enough the movie was over. “I think I’m gonna get going guys.” Richie announced standing up slowly off the couch. “Yeah I should probably get going too.” Stan said standing up as well. The rest of the losers stood up, getting ready to go their separate ways. 

~

Richie finally made his way home and rushed upstairs. He didn’t look to see if his father was downstairs, and frankly he didn’t care to. Richie then got ready for bed and passed out in a matter of minutes. 

~

Richie woke up to a text from Beverly, for once he had slept in, “Hey Trashmouth, Eddie and I are chilling at my house if you want to come over later.” In that moment Richie realized his day would be slightly uncomfortable. He couldn’t handle wearing his binder today. He was dumb and wore it too much in the past week, so he slipped on a sports bra and the biggest sweatshirt he could find. 

Richie made his way downstairs, to see a completely empty house. No dad anywhere. Over by the fridge was a note that only read. “Do the laundry”. Richie sighed and walked out the door. 

As he was making his way down the street, he stopped in his tracks. It was the Bowers gang,  _ of course _ . “Hey guys, it’s the faggot!” Victor yelled. Richie put his hands up, “Hey guys I don’t want any trouble, okay?” “You really think that’s gonna help you, Tozier?” Henry snarled. “Okay, uh, well-“ Richie looked around for somewhere to go but before he knew it he had backed himself into a tree. Henry grinned, confusing Richie for a second until a blinding pain hit his right temple, knocking his head against the tree. Henry then took his sober switch blade and twiddled it between his fingers. “What do you think boys, I don’t know if four-eyes can handle getting my name like the fatty couldn’t. How about a nice X so his dad can always know where to hit him?” In Richie’s daze he tried to protest, “Hey man, don’t bring my dad into this.” But with that he was met with another blow. Henry lifted up Richie’s sweatshirt just enough, thankfully not revealing much more than his stomach. He then, in quick strokes, cut an X. “Now that we have the guidelines, we can go a bit deeper-“ in the distance the gang could hear children laughing and adults conversing and they knew that they had to leave now if they didn’t want to be caught. Henry shot one last evil glare and then walked away. 

~

Richie began to panic, his dad was going to kill him. Just then more thoughts entered his mind.  _ I can’t go home. I’m gonna die. Am I bleeding? Could I maybe go to Bev’s? God, today wasn’t a good day to not wear my binder. I think I might pass out.  _

Richie was shaking violently, his breath was rapid. The world around him was spinning and he didn’t know how to stop it. He tried to pull out his phone and text but he couldn’t type. Finally he tried to run there in his battered state. He didn’t even bother to knock on the door he just opened it and steadied himself in the door frame. 

“Richie?” Beverly asked coming into view. The boy couldn’t understand what was happening, his mind was still racing. “I think- I’m gonna pass out.” Richie stuttered. Beverly grabbed his arm and walked him over to sit on the floor behind the couch. Then everything went black. 


End file.
